LondonKings: Woman World

10 Little Defining Moments In A Woman’s Life

2:26 AM

What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?

9:15 AM

"What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?"

Answer: There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, “yes” is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.

Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).

Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.

While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible's message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.

Why is sexual purity so important?

Woman World

What are your best safety tips for women walking alone at night?

11:27 AM

I notice this question is tagged Boston - and yeah, even for a "scary black guy" like me, lots of areas of Beantown[*] (or even places like Harvard campus) can be pretty frightening to walk alone at night.

A few key guides that helped me in my East Coast years:

Know the people, so they recognize you. Stop in regularly at stores and restaurants along your path home. Figure out who has the best exorbitant price on snacks, which places will let you use the restroom in exchange for some quick banter, etc. If something happens to you around their shop, you may find you're not as outnumbered as you originally thought... And if they're still open at night (or the doors aren't locked) it's usually okay if they know you and you're honest about just wanting to duck inside to avoid some creeps. In a pinch, you can do this with the residential brownstones as well - just walking up the stoop can make some followers hunt other prey, and if that doesn't work, the shame in asking a stranger to let you in because you're terrified is nothing compared to the worst that could happen.

Don't be distracted. Okay, this is a much bigger problem now - when I lived in Boston, I had barely started looking into cell phones, and the iPod didn't exist yet. Just turn all that shit off, put it away in your bag, and notice your surroundings. It may seem boring at first, but would-be thieves/attackers have less overt signs you're carrying valuables, and they know you'll see them coming... Most times, that's all it takes for them to wait for the next unlucky soul.

Swim with the other fish. While route planning, try to not only look for the best-lit routes home, but see if there are regular faces on your morning/evening trains who head at least a block or two "your way" at night... You're not the only one who feels nervous at night - old brick casts a dark shadow - and most people are happy for the company, even if all you ever do is slightly nod heads that you recognize each other. Sort of a dupe of the first item, but for mobile, rather than stationary peeps.

Even just a couple people going the same way is a huge deterrent.

In case of fire, break a $20. Always, ALWAYS have cab fare home, in cash. If the situation starts looking too sketchy, don't get all brave about it, walk back to the nearest sign of civilization, and call up a taxi to get you the rest of the way. I say this as someone who unknowingly lived across the street from a crackhouse for 3 months - I never felt like I had conquered that fear, or that I was getting closer to doing so. Eventually I just wised up and moved somewhere safer.

Just. Fucking. Lose. It. If the worst should happen - there's someone right behind you, same turns last four blocks, looks weird and evil, etc... Just scream. Lose it. Call as much attention to yourself as possible, but unless you are actually attacked, do so without accusing/referencing your stalker. I can't think of a time when loud human noises in whatever neighborhood I was in didn't get a fair number of folks popping to check windows, or running outside with a frying pan in hand. Most of the people living, working, and sleeping around you are good folks, and they won't just let you be taken. Note - If you acknowledge the "bad guy(s)", they are more likely to try to actively silence you... But if you're just "crazy lady/guy", then they can easily walk on without any ego bruising.

(Sometimes, you may have to go "ren fest" crazy to scare them off.

Hopefully, none of the above situations will happen to you, but given how hard it is to properly arm and defend yourself effectively without a lot of training and practice, I highly advise using a mixture of evasion and escape techniques for your summer stay. Oh yeah, and sneakers. Put the heels in your bag if you have to wear them at work, and swap to sneaks for the commute. Night and day as far as escape velocity/running speed on cobblestone and cracked cement pavers.

[* Yeah, I said it. You heard me. Whatchoo gonna do about it? ]

Sex Before Marriage

Do you think I could be pregnant?

9:43 AM

My period ended Thursday had sex the next day we didn't use anything I am not on birth control, and he cumed in me so what's the chance of me being on pregnant? And tomorrow I'm having sex with him tomorrow he's not my boyfriend, and I'm 16 so yeah..

The odds of getting pregnant are about 20% in a month. However the ability to get pregnant depends on your fertile window. the fertile window will also depend on the length of your period. So if you have a short period, yes you could get pregnant from that experience. So what are the odds. You had sex on approximately day 6, you add 6 days which brings you to day 12. Ovulation happens 14 days before your period starts, so if your period is 26 days, then there is an outside chance that you will become pregnant. Now if you have sex in on Wednesday of this week, that will be day 11 of your cycle, so for you to not get pregnant, you would need to have a period length of at least, 33 days to not get pregnant. So given average periods in the world, if you have unprotected sex tomorrow then you will get pregnant. So if you plan to have sex, he needs to use a condom, whether he likes it or not. If it breaks, then you need to use Plan b within 48 hours of the Wednesday sexual act. The world is populated by people who were stupid. Don't be one of them and have an unplanned pregnancy.

Since you just finished your period on thursday, you are probably entering your fertile window where it's the highest chance you can get pregnant. and since he finished inside you and you didn't use any type of birth control, his sperm can stay alive up to 7 days inside you and since you are probably entering your fertile window soon, the sperm can have enough time to reach the egg and fertilize it. You can take plan b up to 120 hours, however it is suggested to take it within 72 because that is when it is most effective. so if you want to take plan b, your last day is tomorrow, but there's a chance it may not work because of how close you are to ovulation or because you're ovulating now. Wait to take a pregnancy test in a few weeks if you start to feel any symptoms

How To

When to Kiss a Girl: A Guide for Making Sure that First Kiss is Sizzling

12:36 AM

Love

What's Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?

9:32 AM

Q I'm a 16-year-old Christian who recently gave up my virginity. I waited until I really loved my boyfriend, and I knew he loved me. I don't think sex has anything to do with the fact that you're married or single. I think it's a choice each person has to make by asking themselves if they're prepared for the outcome if something goes wrong. I talked to my partner about the possible outcomes. We used protection and nothing bad happened.

My boyfriend broke up with me recently. I know it wasn't because of sex, it was just because we had grown apart in our relationship. We're still best friends and we talk all of the time. I still don't regret anything I've done because I know I loved my boyfriend, and I always will. So why do people judge me when they find out that I'm not a virgin?

A You feel criticized by people who learn you aren't a virgin, but you might be surprised to know that some people feel criticized for just the opposite reason—because they've never had sex! It depends on who is doing the criticism, and what their philosophy is. In America today there are at least two very different philosophies of sex.

You've done a good job articulating the way sex is seen by many, especially on TV sitcoms, in most movies, and in supermarket magazines. The key to this philosophy is the individual—his or her likes and dislikes, his or her choices and responsibility. In this view, sex is a way for individuals to enjoy each other. Each person must decide individually whether to make love or not, with whom, and for how long. The only constraint should be whether they're prepared to handle the consequences. You can't avoid some risks, so you ought to face them honestly, minimize them if you can, and take responsibility for the results, whatever they are. If you should happen to get a sexually transmitted disease, or become pregnant, or decide you're not meant for each other, those are just the breaks of the game. Most likely you'll move through a number of sexual relationships before you find one that gives you lasting satisfaction. (And some people never find that, but keep moving from one partner to the next.)

If you follow this philosophy, there's no reason to blame you for losing your virginity. If someone had a baby and didn't take care of it, or contracted AIDS and whined about it, that would be wrong. But there's nothing wrong with what you've done—if you believe this philosophy.

I follow a different philosophy based on Christian truth and Scripture. The key to this philosophy is relationship. Sex, according to this view, is the way for individuals to bind themselves in a total relationship, in which two people become a single loving unit for the rest of their lives. In other words, sex is all about marriage and family. Your individual choice remains important, but it doesn't remain supreme forever. You become "one flesh" with a member of the opposite sex, by choosing to marry. Sex goes with a commitment. You lose a certain amount of freedom, a certain amount of individuality. But you gain a lifelong partner and soulmate.

That's why some people are letting you know they disapprove of what you've done. According to Christian thinking, you've missed the mark. You may have had good intentions, but you didn't understand what sex is for. You thought it was for enjoyment, long-term or short. According to a Christian view, sex is for enjoyment in marriage—and you've put that at risk. You've behaved in a way that makes it harder for you, your partner, and all your future partners to experience the real joy of sex. When you're used to going freely from one sexual relationship to the next, it's hard to stay with just one person. Sexual habits are very powerful.

You can argue about which works best. But I believe the Christian way gives the most benefits and offers the greatest chance of a satisfied life. You can see the consequences of an individualistic philosophy all around, and that's because the individualistic view of sex is unrealistic. You meet someone, decide to have sex, then go your separate ways. As long as you used protection, "nothing bad happened."

But I'd say that something bad did happen to you and your boyfriend. A bond that was meant to be permanent was thrown away.

People who love each other enough to expose their bodies and their love to each other in total vulnerability aren't meant to ever be torn apart. Even though you don't regret anything, I'd be surprised if the memories of that first, failed relationship don't stick with you. Sex is not just a physical thing. It's spiritual. When you tear apart after sex, there are consequences.

I'd urge you to think hard about which philosophy you want to follow. Do you want to stay in tune with the modern media or invest in historic wisdom? The way you answer will have lifelong implications, so think hard.

Human Life

My period may hurt: but not talking about menstruation hurts more

6:29 AM

I’m on my period today. It’s day four so I’m barely bleeding, but I’m still wearing a sanitary pad. On day two – usually my heaviest bleeding day – I had to use four sanitary pads. When I went to the gym I also used a tampon as I was worried about leaking in my gym shorts. Still, I’ve only had to take one codeine tablet this month, plus a handful of paracetamol and …
Wait. I’m not supposed to be saying this out loud. I’m meant to excrete the lining of my womb discreetly, fragrantly and silently. I’m certainly not supposed to use the word “bleed” or “blood”. According to most advertising, I am meant to excrete a thin blue liquid, and to keep it to myself. One way or another, periods take up women’s attention for up to 10 days a month, whether it’s bleeding or mood changes. Yet nearly all advertising for sanitary products encourages us to hide this chunk of our lives – three thousand days for most women – by preventing leaks that might embarrass us and everyone else; by ensuring we don’t, God forbid, smell of menstrual blood; by putting menstruation behind locked doors and safely enclosed in euphemism.
In fact, there are no rules governing the use of blood in sanitary pad advertising, only that sanitary products should not be advertised too close to children’s programming, or cause general offence. That bizarre blue liquid is self-policing by advertisers who daren’t risk offending the public. Maybe they are right to be timid. I recently had my bag searched by airport security at Heathrow, and watched with astonishment as the young woman took my packet of Always and carefully hid it under books. I asked her why and she looked surprised. “Most women ask me to,” she said.
No wonder the British tennis player Heather Watson ruffled matters when she referred to being off her game because of “girl things”. She had felt dizzy and nauseous, she said, and really a bit crap. This is how millions of women feel every month, whether it’s the hormonal upheaval (there’s a footbridge near me which I daren’t take one day a month in case my hormones shove me off it), the sledgehammer pain in your back and belly, the bloating, or the vanished energy.
I cheered upon seeing female athletes talk periods in response to Watson, including Annabel Croft, Paula Radcliffe, and athlete Jessica Judd, who told the BBC that doctors trialled a drug on her because she had her period, and it didn’t work. I cheered louder to read that the GB hockey squad email their coach with their period dates, and that their training is adjusted accordingly (lighter weights for certain days). I winced in sympathy at female tennis players who have their periods during Wimbledon, when they must wear white and are allowed one toilet break per set. That’s awful. But when it comes to the cost of menstrual taboo, there is far worse.
I travelled across India in 2012 with a sanitation carnival. It included games to promote good hygiene and toilet use, but also a colourful tent called the MHM Lab. MHM is Menstrual Hygiene Management, an offputtingly official name, but the tent was not offputting. Every day, even on religious holidays, there were long queues of women and girls who came not for the free sanitary napkins on offer, but simply to ask questions and talk about periods. In a survey carried out by the UN’s sanitation agency WSSCC, almost a third of women and girls had known nothing about periods, and over 70% thought menstrual blood was dirty.
It was clear from their stories that it was usually women themselves hiding menstruation behind silence and shame. They knew nothing because their mothers, grandmothers and sisters had told them nothing. Some girls started their periods and thought they were dying of cancer. Many were convinced that they could curdle milk or ruin pickles. In Iran over 40% of girls surveyed by Unicef thought menstruation was a disease. This unmentionability can have other serious consequences: if girls can’t afford sanitary napkins or cloths, they use straw, or sand, or newspaper, often resulting in infections. (Only 12% of Indian women use sanitary pads.)
And worse, the absence of toilets in schools (common, when 2.5 billion people still have no toilet) can be a factor in girls dropping permanently out of education. Worse still: in Nepal I visited girls who are confined to live in animal sheds when they have their period, and treated as untouchables. I asked a menstrual hygiene specialist at WSSCC whether she could think of a country, rich or poor, that didn’t have any menstrual taboo or stigma. “No.” Menstrual taboo goes far beyond a tennis court.
There is good news. Menstrual hygiene is more on the agenda of NGOs and governments. There is now a Menstrual Hygiene Day. Great initiatives to provide low-cost sanitary protection, whether pads or moon cups, are multiplying. Even advertisers – such as HelloFlo in the US – are becoming more daring.
How daft, though, to think that talking about periods requires courage. I do it all the time (too much, my friends think), because I’m proud of my body, both when it runs marathons, and when it bleeds. My period may hurt, but not as much as not talking about menstruation does. Period talk: it’s time it was a team sport.

LondonKings

10 Little Defining Moments In A Woman’s Life

The moment when…

What does the Bible say about sex before marriage?

Why is sexual purity so important?

What are your best safety tips for women walking alone at night?

Do you think I could be pregnant?

When to Kiss a Girl: A Guide for Making Sure that First Kiss is Sizzling

Step 1: The Basics

If You Taste Like Onions…

Make Sure the Place is Right

Step 2: Reading the Signals that She Wants to Be Kissed

Eye contact

Body Language

Physical Contact

When In Doubt, ASK!

Step 3: Getting the Kiss Right

The Romantic Kiss

The Spontaneous Kiss

The Sexual Kiss

Step 4: Avoiding the Post First-Kiss Awkwardness

Step 5: Always Leave Her Wanting More

What's Wrong With Sex Before Marriage?

My period may hurt: but not talking about menstruation hurts more

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